Here lately I have been exploring the darker and humorous side of the altered mind without giving dues to our Lord and Savior. Today while going through reader I was reminded that even though I have fun with my dark humor I need to let this be known.

I was taught to respect the word of the bible at an early age through whiskey and a strict Catholic dad.

I thought the norm was to go to church on Sunday, listen to a boring monologue for around 15 minutes and then listen to the priest tell everyone how the church needed a new roof or the bowling alley redone. I along with the masses fell into the belief that Catholics so much enjoy, I ask for forgiveness between 10:34 and 11:43 and I am good to go for another week.

After church was over we would return home and dads friends would start showing up to play euchre and drink all day. Cool for us kids as the friends would hand a fiver and we would soon disappear for the corner candy store.

I dropped out of church early in life as it dropped off dads list of importance as he grew older. I didn’t think much about God or religion for quite a few years as I was covered in psoriasis and thought that if there was a God, what did I do at such a young age to have him hate me in such a way as to make me have skin like a snake.

When dad died in 1974 I was crushed in spirit and soul. I shouldn’t have been. My dad was a mean drunk bully most of the time but I never grasped the thought he was fighting demons inside much like myself, instead letting the mind block all feelings of sorrow, love and compassion away into a three lock box stored deep in my soul.

During the next three to four years I gave the church a second chance and searched my soul for answers. I found most of the churches I visited the same as the Catholic ones, a quick bible verse or two and then let’s talk about how the preacher’s car is a year old and needs replaced or ‘Our pastor’s three bedroom split level is to small so we need to collect more this week to ensure he gets the hot tub deluxe model installed next month’.

It was a fine summer morning the last time I stepped into a house of worship for more than twenty years. That was the day a pastor called me out by name and told the congregation I was the devil re-incarnate. Granted I might have deserved to be asked to leave because of my beliefs but to be called out like that from a man who supposedly is preaching on God being a loving God…come on.

I soul searched and came to the belief that our Lord will judge each one according to their desires and doings in life. This helped set my mind at ease combined with the wastelands I was exploring with many different drugs of the seventies. I set myself loose on a journey of abandoned morals and values to see what life offered.

Fast forward to 2025. I sit here drinking coffee and giving thanks to my higher power knowing that through his grace and salvation I have been carried through hells raging fire, violence of a major minor scale, and mayhem of my own doing.

In my heart I have known all along that there is a God. If I accepted him or not the choice was mine and still is. In the end of this part of my journey I will be judged and sent onto another plane of existence, be that heaven or hell or another life for some form of higher learning and understanding.

Until that time arrives I am not going to sweat the small stuff anymore. Knowing that I live in the grace of my savior and that it is my choice how to walk through this world I do so with humor, peace and love which I want to spread as much as I can while keeping the devil’s dark desires and my rage in check.

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