Chills of fear course through the body and cold sweat beads on the brows. Clammy hands shake as you experience the flood of emotions and the voices…the voices screaming between your ears to run, run hard and fast to escape back to the safety of peaceful insanity.
Fear is a funny thing. It can transform a gentle mind into a raging storm of electrons dancing so fast it makes you freeze. Life changing decisions are made on the spot to avoid the results of what fear might produce as a result.
Like the deer you stand, frozen in the fact that doom in emanate. Not being able to turn around or exit stage left. All that remains is to face the greatest fear imaginable inside the altered mind of excited emotions.
That fear for me…yes it is marriage. Combining two lives into one is a very scary proposition for me. Changes are bound to happen wanted and unwanted alike. After living together for two years and facing this fear the first time it didn’t ease the pain or anxiety of ever doing it again. What would it take for me to face this fear again you ask?
After trying this solution I found that while it didn’t exactly erase the fear it numbed it enough to shake loose those words I DO. The thing is that I don’t abide in being friends with Jack anymore and just being in his presence makes me nauseous.
Although this is a truthful story of fear I am not against two souls matching up and enjoying life together. It’s the paper in fire I distrust and fear.
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